Learning to Feel

If we are capable of feeling, empathizing and communicating emotion on this level but we choose not to then wtf are we even doing.

We’re always told to “understand to your audience” etc, etc. I was inspired a long time ago to go beyond that and FEEL the emotion. Conveying emotion is the goal of great storytelling and a key to the ever-elusive “authenticity”. This story represents my experience but it’s not a story about me.

A word of warning if you’re triggered by depression or suicide related stories. I would hate to catch anyone off guard so if that is the case you might want to skip this one.

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I lived in Chicago from 2008-2012, before moving to Colorado. During that time I was introduced to a band called Frightened Rabbit. They were from Scotland and the lead singer, Scott Hutchison, battled severe depression. Music was his outlet to express himself and work through it.

I ran my first marathon on the trails outside Bloomington, Indiana in November 2010. Throughout training I spent a lot of time listening to Midnight Organ Fight and Frightened Rabbit’s latest album, Winter of Mixed Drinks. The weekend prior to the race I saw Frightened Rabbit perform at House of Blues in Chicago. Taper weekend. It was incredible. I was blown away by the depth to which Scott articulated his feelings through words, music and performance. I was not at all familiar with depression and, as an 80s kid from Ohio, it was taboo to even discuss such a thing. Scott’s storytelling, however, was unbelievable. The level to which he made me FEEL his emotion has never left my mind to this day.

In hindsight I’ve always been a creative person but I had never leaned into it. I was raised in a suburb of Cleveland surrounded by lawyers, doctors and engineers. You took art or music class because you had to. I was likely too young and oblivious but until that concert I had never really noticed anyone express themselves in a way that hit me hard and really got my attention.

Scott showed me the power of art.

“Though the corners are lit, the dark can return with the flick of a switch”

- Scott Hutchison from Not Miserable

After that Chicago show a friend-of-a-friend scored me the lyric sheet at the top of this article. Scott had scribbled it for one of their new songs, Not Miserable. It’s the beginning line of each verse so he didn’t forget. The song tells a story about picking up the pieces after emerging from a deep episode of depression. It’s tragic and triumphant. It’s powerful and beautiful.

The video below still gives me goosebumps. This would have been from a show just 12 days after I saw them in Chicago. Take a few minutes to feel his words. At the very beginning of the video he dedicates it to his mom.

Less than a year after that show I took a right hand turn from a business career to start shooting photos and making films. I wouldn’t have connected it at the time but looking back, part of my inspiration definitely came from Scott. The timing was not a coincidence. I was wildly inspired to make art, tell stories and communicate to the world in my own way. Doing so was just so human and so full of life. It was magic.

Fast forward to today. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to Frightened Rabbit. I don’t know how it came about but I ended up listening to Not Miserable for the entirety of my 60 minute run yesterday. It’s 4 minutes long so that’s maybe 15 times. It still gave me goosebumps. I didn’t plan to write anything in this newsletter until next week but this article came together in my head during the run and in the spirit of art, here we are.

Like many creatives Scott experienced emotion to his core. He channeled that emotion through his gift to storytell with music. Despite being wholly unfamiliar with depression let alone the level of vulnerability Scott displayed, I was deeply affected by his work. His storytelling spoke to me. I felt it.

This is no doubt an unrealistic benchmark, maybe it’s insensitive on some level to even compare, I dunno, but I am always looking to FEEL emotion within storytelling on Scott’s level. I want to be fucking floored. His emotion was of course rooted in a lot of pain but out of either defiance or desperation he chose to communicate it. If we are capable of feeling, empathizing and communicating emotion on this level, whether painful or positive, but we choose not to then wtf are we even doing.

There’s a whole range of emotions that inspire us to run 100 miles, signup for a 5k, join a group run or even take up running in the first place. It’s tragic, triumphant powerful and beautiful. Whether it’s accomplishment, belonging, confidence, success or sadness, running strips us raw, forces us to be vulnerable and brings our emotions to the surface. It’s a uniquely human experience.

Running is art.

I want so badly for brands to show me that they understand this. Maybe others don’t but I do. I want them to empathize so deeply with runners that they see every last corner of nuanced emotion we associate with running. Then when they feel it to their core I want them to live it and communicate it beautifully. Authenticity comes when all of that aligns.

What do you stand for?

Is it diversity, equity, mental health, the amateur spirit, evolving running, running happy, elite performance or product innovation?

Make us fucking FEEL it!

Whether it’s “Move Your Mind”, “Winning Isn’t for Everyone”, “Let’s Run There”, “Stay Out There” or “Fly Human Fly”.

Give us goosebumps!

Inspire us so deeply that we change careers let alone buy a pair of shoes.

This is just running though. It’s trivial and fun.

Or . . . it’s massively important and can change lives.

However you perceive it, don’t hold back.

Scott wrote a song called Floating in the Forth that first appeared on the 2008 album Midnight Organ Fight. The song is about jumping from the Forth Road Bridge into the River Forth in Scotland. Ten years after that song debuted, May 2018, Scott went missing and was found the following day having done just that.

The performance below was less than 3 months before he passed.

It still brings tears to my eyes.

Thank you Scott, for teaching me to feel.

After his death, Scott’s brother Grant (the band’s drummer) and the Hutchison family established Tiny Changes, a mental health charity named after a lyric from the band's song "Head Rolls Off". Their work is focused on the mental health of children in Scotland.